I've been sick and neglected my blog

Thanks to my nephew, I got a cold. He loves to share. Unfortunately, I am a wuss when it comes to colds and do almost everything to get over them quickly.
I do not have New Year's Eve plans. I hate staying up late and I am getting over a cold. I do have weekend plans. The vet has invited me down to Charlottesville to celebrate his birthday with him and 15 of his closest friends. That should be interesting. After deciding it would be a miserable time, I consulted with my siblings, who told me not to go, and then decided I should go. He agreed to come up for my birthday next month. I feel like I should go down and meet his friends. I am terrified that I won't fit in, but I warned him.

In other irrelevant news

I am trying my hand at internet marketing. There are tons of products that you can market online and make a buck. The latest niche that I've found is free piano lessons online. Of course, you can check out the product and try one free lesson. If you like the quality of instruction, you can purchase the product. But, I wrote an article about the benefits of video piano instruction and put it on a squidoo lens. To check it out go to free piano lesson online and check it out. The links are both different even though I used the same anchor text. I had to learn some HTML coding to hide the long URL, but it wasn't terribly difficult.
Oh, yeah, the vet didn't call last night like he said he would. But he did text me a couple messages. Not terribly exciting. No news in the online dating world today. I need to start Christmas shopping.

Check In

The vet called me earlier today to check in. What am I his mother?! We chatted for awhile. He told me that he would call again when he got up to his family's lakehouse. I doubt it, but we'll see.
Some hot guy in Texas winked at me online. Unfortunately when I tried to instant message him, I didn't get a reply. Five minutes later, I did, but when I wrote something I didn't hear back from him. An Indian dude in Herndon winked at me today. I'm not sure if I want to reply or not. Online dating seems so dead end right now.

No text or email

His interest must be declining. I did not receive any text or emails from the vet yesterday. That is okay. It is becoming very apparent that we operate differently. I am a thinking person and he is a feeling person. Neither is better than the other, we just make decisions differently.

An invite

So, the vet, who lives far away, invited me to his birthday. Ugh! I suck at parties. I am all nervous and the only thing on my mind is when will I get out of here?! Do I really need to make more small talk?! But, I agreed to go. he is happy. It should be interesting to see what my mood will be like around a lot of people that I don't know and one that I barely know.

And Back to Texting

Today, I decided that I wasn't going to text the vet. I was just going to see if he texted me. During my break, just as I was about to write a quick text, I got one from him. All it said was "Good morning!" But, it was 11:20. I didn't want to burst his bubble and tell him that morning wasn't over, so I told him what I was doing. Nothing special, we're back to being friends. Which is good.

Technology Fails Me

The vet called just as I was leaving school yesterday. Okay, so we are back to being friends. Unfortunately, I hit the reject call button. I quicktly texted him and told him I didn't mean to reject the call. I called back and got his voicemail. I never got a call back even though he later told me he tried twice. Oh well.

Out of the Picture

The vet let me know it was too hard to be friends with me today. Yeah, I kind of saw that coming. I just wish he would have told me sooner that he thought I was critical. Oh well. Moving on.

sprained ankle

I was walking up the stairs yesterday morning when I slipped. I landed on my right ankle. I have been keeping off it and icing it, but now I am just about bored. I've heard a little from the vet, so I know he doesn't hate me for my stupid comment. But, I need to find some new men to date. I just hate that I can't drive. I don't like waiting in the cold for buses and I tend to just entertain myself at home like a recluse during the winter. I have caroling with Colleen planned and next week there is a party.

My negative nature

So, I think I hurt the vet's feelings. I sent him a facebook email and I think he took it the wrong way. His reply was simply "whatever." I apologized and told him I still wanted to be friends, but I haven't heard from him today at all. I sent him three texts. He didn't reply. They were random things just to say hi that he normally would have responded to in time. I took his number out of my phone so I won't become an annoying person in case he doesn't want to hear from me. Better to let him contact me next. I feel bad about it. Well, live and learn.

Totally negelected my blog!

Eh...what can you say, blame it on the holidays. I have been chatting it up with the vet a couple times a week and texting daily. But, he told me he just wants to be friends from the beginning. It seems odd. The couple interested guys on match have stopped contacting me. I don't know if I should be relieved or disappointed. I finally did call the vet when I was bored yesterday because it was his day off. He has a woman on his voicemail. I was a little surprised, but I'm not going to jump to conclusions. If he was hiding a wife, he would give me an open invitation to visit him. His facebook page lists his status and so I'll just see if he continues to call me and enjoy his phone calls when he does.

Such disappointment

My conversation with the vet was cut short Tuesday and he told me he would call Wednesday. I was so disappointed when he didn't. We texted during the day and apparently animals have emergencies. There are a lot of car accidents and it is possible that he had to work late. I hate talking on the phone, so it is ironic that I am disappointed that he didn't call. Oh well.

Thoroughly Confused

He keeps calling me and texting me. I guess that is a good thing if this were relationship potential, but I don't know if I want it to be. I'll just see how long he stays interested in me.

Just Friends

I love that the vet likes to chat with me on the phone. He didn't call yesterday and I was disappointed, but I had told him that I planned on calling him next week. So, it is a new week and I called this morning. I hate calling people. I can't explain it, but I don't like to do it. I am going to keep chatting with him until it gets old. He told me he just wants to be friends, so I'm not holding my breath on any relationship.

Online Stalking

So, I went to the guy's facebook page and read past status updates. I saw the pictures of the girl that he calls his ex and complains that she continues to call him. I also noticed that his status changed within a month from in a relationship to single. Yeah, I have short term relationships like that. I don't think I will text him today. I told him that I would call next week. I'm so good at procrastination.

An hour?

Did I really talk on the phone for an hour to this guy from high school today? I never talk on the phone. If I am making plans, I usually email, text or talk to them in person. Chatting on the phone seems like the biggest waste of time to me. I felt like I wasted my time today talking to him. It was fun to chat with him, but I hate hearing about his high school experience because I compare it to mine and he was a rebel and I didn't do anything wrong.

Wow!

So, the realization hit yesterday that the vet isn't interested in me. I could be wrong. He was texting me multiple times during the day, but he complained about a past relationship and it annoyed me to the point that I deleted his number from my phone. Now, I'm bummed that I can't text him until he calls me. I was starting to get addicted to the attention.

Piercings?!

I chatted today with the veterinarian. He told me the story of when he got his tongue pierced and about getting his nipple pierced. He doesn't have the piercings anymore. A dog's nail ripped out the nipple ring. I get that some people get piercings and tattoos. I didn't even ask if he had a tattoo.

Phone issues

I'm so silly about calling people. I hate to do it. The guy in Charlottesville asked me to call him this weekend. I gave him some flimsy excuse and told him maybe. He had been texting me a couple times a day and while he reports that he isn't ready for a relationship, he sure is taking some interest in me. So, I call him during my lunch break and we talk for ten minutes. It was a dry, boring conversation. I didn't know what to say. When school was out, I texted him and told him school was over. He calls me five minutes later. We talked for fifteen minutes more and the conversation was light with lots of laughter. It was noticable to him that I was definately more at ease receiving a phone call than making one. I have no explanation why other than I'm not good at chit chat.

Not much drama to report

I have been in cognitive remediation. It has been helpful. My speech therapist is helping me devise coping mechanisms to help me process information that is presented to me. We didn't work on anything auditorily and I think that my main problem is with auditory information.
The high school friend texted me a lot yesterday. I don't know what to do about that. I can't imagine that we'll ever hang out, so I should probably stop texting him. It is nice to have someone to keep in touch with.

Oh no!

I never want a guy to be overly obsessed with me. The guy from high school texted me in the middle of the night when he couldn't sleep. I'm not sure how I feel about that considering I hardly know him. Surely he has friends in Charlottesville that he can call, but I don't know. Is it worth it to try and have a friendship with someone two and a half hours away? I'm not sure.

He called me

My friend from high school was curious enough to call me up. We talked for about an hour. He told me the sob story of his divorce and a mutual friend. Turns out, he was on the swim team with me. But, in my defense, there were a lot of people on that swim team. It would have been very easy for me to be on the team with him and still not talk to him.

A high school FB friend

Someone who never spoke to me in high school friended me. I sent him an email letting him know that I really didn't know him and he somehow wanted to make up for it. I must admit that I'm a little touched. I think he was a skater and hung with the popular crowd, of which I was not a part. However, time changes people.

Boring Day

I went to Madison High School today. I substituted for a business class. It was terribly boring. They just completed their assignments on the computer. Luckily, I had my last period free and walked home at one o'clock.

Another Setback

I had a seizure last night. I can't drive for another six months. Arghh! I had been seizure free for five months. This pretty much stinks.

Lack of Interest

I was so hopeful that the New York attorney would email me. I noticed that he had logged on, but hadn't sent me an email. I am so bummed. The LASIK eye surgeon who sent me an email hasn't responded either. Some entepreneur in Utah is interested in me as well as someone who is in Reston. The Reston guy has a beard and I just don't know. I'm excited that my new ward is having different midsingle visitors each week. Next week should be the designated visitor's Sunday with a potato bar afterward. It should be interesting.

back to online dating

So, this morning, I was bored and went on match.com. I was instant messaged by three men. One was just cyberstalking me and I had to block him. I mean, I told him three times that I wasn't interested and he wrote that he wouldn't pressure me anymore and then he instant messaged me and begged me to give him a chance. Uh...too stalkerish. I do like the proile of the New York attorney, but our instant messaging was lackluster. Oh and then there was the guy who told me he was horny. Yeah, that ended that instant messaging session. I kept trying to have a conversation and he wouldn't respond. Initially he told me he just couldn't sleep, but finally he told me he was horny and had to let it out. Uh...what was I suppose to say. He could have kept that information to himself. I just stopped talking to him.

Could I move to Utah?

I don't know. I haven't heard back from the Baltimore doctor. Some guy in Utah is 11 years older than me and interested in me. It is just that it is far away and eleven years is a lot. There are lots of guys in the DC area. None that I'm currently dating, but I can't picture myself out West again. I'd really have to fall for this guy. I just can't imagine doing that online. Besides Utah is so far in the middle of nowhere.

An overachiever

I don't know if I can date an overachiever. I think I would fall short of his expectations. I started corresponding with a doctor who has started his own practice, written a couple books and owns a beach house. That is all well and good, but what have I done that even comes close? Oh yeah! I started speech therapy. Maybe once I finish I'll be able to keep a job longer than a couple months. Well, he is in Baltimore and I doubt that I'll ever meet him. We shall see.

No one is reading anymore

I checked. Today I had one page impression. Yes, I realize my life has gotten that boring. I haven't heard from the black dude on match who wants to meet me, so yesterday I sent an email to some doctor in Baltimore. I got a wink back. That means he wasn't even interested enough to say hello. That pretty much stinks.

Hmmm...

My brother picked up an application to work at the Recreation Center. I don't know what he wants to do. This morning he said he wasn't ready to be done being unemployed. I'm hoping that his second job interview with CSC goes well next week and he can start immediately. I don't know if taking a part time job at the recreation center will jeopardize his unemployment benefits. But that is where I work part time. Although right now I'm taking a break from it.
I'm not sure how I'll spend my Halloween. I hate the whole dressing up thing. It is annoying not to be yourself.

Speech Therapy

So, I'm doing speech therapy. It is really cognitive remediation. Hopefully, she will provide me with techniques to overcome my weaknesses at worksites. She said in the last year, she has helped five other people like me. She was very optimistic. I wish that we actually did more than a simple evaluation today. It seemed like a waste of time, but I realize that there is some sort of procedure. She wanted to know my goals and what I hope to accomplish with cognitive remediation.

The Count Off

Family home evening and my former crush showed up. I was thrilled. He is a fun guy whether he is around for jokes or eye candy. We broke the midsingles group up into three groups. We counted off and as much as I would have preferred not to have my adorable crush in my group, he ended up being the third person. I really need to get a crush on someone who is interested in me.

An old crush sat next to me

With the creation of a midsingles Sunday School, there is the opportunity to interact with other midsingles. I sat in the front row and looked around for an old crush, hoping that he would enjoy the ward enough to return, but alas, he hadn't made it from the chapel into the multipurpose room. I was thrilled that he chose to sit next to me today. He could have manuevered his way to the back row, but he filled in the seat right next to me. Unfortunately, I don't think he is interested in me, but a he is great eye candy.

Rained out and Richmond

The barn dance Halloween extravaganza was cancelled due to inclement weather. I ended up at the Braut and root beer tasting event. It was cute, but lacking in hot guys. There was one who was visiting from Richmond. I was sorely disappointed because he wasn't terribly interested in me. That is okay because he lives a couple hours away and was only visiting. Maybe something good will turn up this weekend.

Online Denial

I emailed this guy four times with the news that I was not interested in him. I blocked him from contact and kept him blocked for a week. I was curious to see if he would email me if I unblocked him, so I did that yesterday and today I got another email from the guy. I decided he is a possible stalker and blocked him again. I feel bad because I sent a generic "no thanks" email saying I met someone else and want to see where it goes. I haven't met anyone else. I hope to tomorrow night at the party. It is funny because I know that I have emailed men too frequently and they get turned off by that. Usually it is just because I'm bored and looking for something to do. I'll write something stupid and they take it seriously because they have real jobs that keep them busy.

A Teenage Stalker?

I substituted at Madison High School today. I passed out a test, sat back in my chair and folded my arms to watch the kids work. I kept the crossed most of the hour and one of the students picked up on it. He mimicked me at the end of class. Everyone had left the room and he stood in front of me with his arms folded across his chest. I told him to leave. The funny thing is that half way through the next class, I noticed him in the hallway with his arms folded across his chest looking in my classroom. He must have had lunch or a pass to the bathroom. If it wasn't high school, I think I would have been creeped out. I doubt I'll see him again.

Neuropsych Report

Some of you may know that I have struggled to keep a job in the past. It has been extremely frustrating because I have an IQ that is slightly above average and I achieved above average grades in school. I went on to complete a Bachelor's and Master's degree and still got fired. I had a neuropsychologist report done and recently got it back. It explains a lot, but I'm not sure exactly what to do. Turns out, my scores are all over the place. I had great memory recognition, but free recall was poor. In other words, when you give me a test on something, I will regurgitate the answers, but if you expect me to recall specific details on my own without prompts, it isn't going to happen. I also have a slower than normal processing speed. I scored in the first percentile compared to others in my age range with the same level of education. My sustained attention was poor too. I had excellent word finding abilities and so I seem normal. People think that when I don't start something immediately it is because I'm lazy, but really, I'm still processing the request! One time when I was fired, they called me "laxidazical." I thought I was getting everything done that they asked in a reasonable time frame. Unfortunately, it could be caused by my medication, which I can't stop taking. I start cognitive remediation on Tuesday.

Family Home Evening

I went to the new ward's FHE. There were only about ten midsingles, but that made it easier to keep track of everyone. My new friend, Melodi, invited me to go with her to the midsingles Halloween party this weekend. It should be fun. She is an accountant and crossfit junkie like John, so they should get along. I'm looking forward to meeting new people.

New Ward, new people to meet!

I went to the Oak Marr midsingles magnet ward yesterday. It was the first day and they had a large turnout of single adults. No men that I'd be terribly interested in, but we it was nice to see other people who are in the same situation. It most likely will grow with time and that is good. Tonight there is a family home evening. John and I plan on going. It should be fun.

Man, a lot of LDS social drinkers

I joined match.com because they had this six month free thing. I was hoping to find an LDS guy. I had tried ldsmingle.com without much luck once and thought checking out match.com would be a little different. For one, I'm older and not being LDS is no longer a dealbreaker. However, I find it disappointing to see how many guys are listing that they are LDS and are social drinkers. I did find a hot LDS guy in San Diego who doesn't drink and wrote that he is looking for an eternal companion. I doubt he'll email me back, but I have been disappointed before. No big deal. I will survive.

Reminder

So, I dated a younger man this summer. I had moved away from going to YSA activities, but decided that just this once, I'd go to a party hosted by a young single adult. It was a good reminder not to go again. Even though Clay Cook and Scott White had put down that they were going, I knew I was going to be one of the older people there. And since I wasn't in their crowd, no one talked to me. I was surprised that the guy I went out with didn't even say hello, but that's okay. I left early because I had a cold and could tell that there were going to keep us there awhile. I'm sure no one missed me.

Back from California

The trip was going to be awesome. We had flying and an air show on the agenda. Then my father had heart problems. I got sick and in sunny California it rained. I couldn't really go site seeing. I spent a day in my hotel room. The flight back was awful. I got a middle seat. While the man next to me was rude and took up two places in the overhead compartments instead of using the space under the seat in front of him, I had my legroom shortened because I put my one carryon in front of me. I shared my cold with him. By the time the plane landed, I heard him coughing. Ahh...sweet revenge.

Ended the Friendship

I texted the young guy today to let him know I was going to institute and Jessica's party in case he wanted to avoid me. He told me I was great and questioned why I would think he wanted to avoid me. I told him that it was because I couldn't be friends with him anymore. I didn't go from dating to friendship and that I was sorry. He responded with, "It's all good. I'll see you around." So it is officially over and I can really move on.

Funny

I'm determined not to ruin this guy's reputation with gossip. I think it is petty. Besides he can ruin relationships by his own stupid mistakes. I let him read the blog to clue him in to what they are in case he did want to change. I've realized that men aren't into changing and improving themselves. They are more interested in chance and luck. Women are all about self improvement, understanding what they did wrong and how they can improve. Yeah, I checked facebook this morning knowing full well that I wouldn't have any mail from the guy because I blocked him. Every day gets easier. Plus, I should get my driver's license back in a couple weeks. That will give me more freedom to meet other men.

It will be fine

I hate hurt feelings. I don't like the idea that I might have hurt the younger man's feelings. I keep resisting the urge to check and see how he is doing. Blocking him is the only way to move on. It sucks because I know I won't have any email from him when I check my facebook. I talked to my sister today. It made me feel better. She told me on Friday that she wouldn't be surprised if he never talked to me again. I think that is what needs to happen for us to both move on. He wasn't a terrible guy. He was just asking me to do something I couldn't do - be friends with someone who rejected me. Writing about it helps.

Lesson Learned

Well, I blocked the younger man on facebook after he told me we needed to take a break as facebook friends. He told me I had drama. I need a clean break. I knew it after he told me "let's be friends." I can't date someone and then be friends with them. If we're friends first, then maybe I can. Rejection hurts emotionally. I can't put myself through that with him yet again. I also realized today that he was using me for golf. Now that my free driving range priveledges are over, he isn't responding to my invites. When he refused to take me to institute or a FHE activity, I realized that even in our friendship, there wasn't a good balance of give and take. I think had he been courteous and declined the breakfast invite and told me he didn't want to give me a ride to Jessica's party, I would not be upset. However, he just ignored both questions all together.

It is easy to point a finger

It is easy to see faults in other people, but not yourself. I got an email from a guy and he essentially told me that he didn't want my drama. I'm really puzzled by this one. I think that he was the one playing games. So, it pretty much irritates me that he told me he wanted to avoid drama from me. I know some of his friends and am almost tempted to write his name here. I know he reads this blog. I honestly hope he doesn't go to any of the same parties that I'm planning on attending or show up at institute for a long time.

Well, maybe not

The scientist that wanted to go out with me this week found out that I don't drive and suddenly isn't all that interested after all. He questioned me, what if this worked out and I wanted you to come to my place? I like to take things one step at a time and not look at future predicaments. Besides, I should be able to drive in a month. My super tall friend is going on the camping trip this weekend, so I doubt I'd get a date with him. Bummer.

Yeah! I got an email from Leah!

My best friend in medical school is coming to visit. She emailed me today and said she was coming this weekend. Of course I'll be in San Francisco this weekend. But, I was thrilled. She said she is going to break up with the younger man she has been seeing. I doubt she will. She tried to the last time she visited. He actually made dating younger men appealing to me and I changed my mind about Langley men. Of course, when I wanted to go to the Langley activities, my friend decided to stop going. Coincidence? Maybe. Or maybe he thought I was ugly and didn't want to be seen with me. I might go to a party in Vienna next weekend hosted by Jessica Nielson. Maybe I'll meet some people there.

Looking forward

It has now been twenty years since my first seizure. My parents never got me therapy. They encouraged me to get some once in my twenties, but I didn't see the point. I realized that now is the perfect time because my insurance will cover all of it. I told the neuropsych about my suicidal thoughts and he will probably make a recommendation for it. People with Juvenile Myoclonic Epilepsy often have suicidal thoughts that they don't act on. I've read. I couldn't hurt my family, but I do think about what if I swallowed my entire bottle of keppra and would it be easier on the other side? Anyway, I pay a psychologist to be my friend. He won't ever bail on me or move away. My best friend is in medical school now and I don't have anyone to hang out with in Oakton. I'm hoping the new midsingles ward will provide me with some friendships. It was easier in Alexandria where I was surrounded by people and activities.

Lost the friendship

Well, I texted the young guy and told him I wasn't upset anymore. I invited him to do breakfast as we had talked about on Monday, but he didn't respond. I sent him an email on facebook and told him that I was not upset. He didn't respond or add me back as a friend, so I think I've lost that friendship. I'm sad, but it will be okay. I'm grateful that we aren't facebook friends and I won't be instant messaging him and telling hm that I wanted to kiss him. I can't believe that I fell for that. He was a good friend for the most part. I guess that I learned a lesson. Don't tell men to read your blog and don't complain when you tell them that they can use you for golf and then start to resent the fact when you realize that they are doing just that.

Cause and Effect

I wonder if I really prevented any relationship from forming with the last guy I went out with because I kept writing that it was going nowhere. Mentally, I think that reinforces the negative. I guess I didn't want to get hurt when nothing happened, but I never allowed myself to become too attached to the guy. I wonder if I will ever let my guard down enough to form attachments to someone else. We'll see. I wish that I was staying in California longer. There is someone out there who is super tall that I want to go out with.

Wasting time has its place

I think the young guy I was seeing was upset when I kept writing on here that I was wasting my time with him. But, let's consider some other time wasters - television, facebook, movies. They actually all have a place in my life. You need friends to give you a hug when you are down. While I'd rather date a guy than be friends with him, I probably was a little critical in my last post. Perhaps I shouldn't have blurted out the 25 year old's social blunder. We all have our own mistakes we've made.
I'm going out with a scientist next week. I'm intimidated by how many languages he speaks and degrees he has. I think it will only be a single date before he dumps me. We shall see.

So selfish

Little things are important when you are dating even if you are just friends. The 25 year old didn't realize this one. It was chilly and we were driving home. I didn't want the windows down because I didn't want the wind to blow my wig around and I was cold. He wanted the wind through his hair and didn't mind it being cold for seven minutes. Oh, yeah, my hair started falling out in patches a few months ago. It is growing back now. I never told the guy I was wearing a wig. Even though I rolled my window up and mentioned I was cold, he insisted. It wasn't until I made the statement, "so you don't care that I'm cold," That he realized the potential impact that action had. What does he say? "Oh, I better roll them up or you'll tell all your friends and ruin my reputation." No, he didn't care at all about my feelings. I laughed and told him I wouldn't tell anyone. And didn't until now. I removed him from my facebook friends until I get over him. I will and we'll be friends again, but not now.
The good news is that I have some other men to go out with. They are older. One is 39 and the other is 41. We'll see if they care. I told the 39 year old online that I lost my hair, the picture was old and I wear a wig and he is still interested.

Yipee Skipee!

That one guy I kept going out with admitted to me today that we weren't going anywhere. Finally. I feel like he manipulated me. After I told him I didn't want to hang out with him, he told me he was all sad and wanted to kiss me. Kissing is fun, but don't ever fall for that carrot. Especially when they aren't around to do anything about it. I don't know if I should see him again or not. But I don't care I have options. They guys aren't LDS, but that is okay. No one is perfect.

Sarcasm doesn't read well online

I made the mistake of telling my friend about my blog. Mostly this blog is written for the amusement of my single friends who live far away. But I told the 25 year old about the blog. I thought he might find it amusing. Today I received an email that said he read it and I didn't write nice things about him. Well, I won't make the mistake of telling another guy about the blog. I thought since he just wanted to be friends that he might be amused by some of my thoughts. I warned him that it was mostly girly gossip.

I wish my life was more exciting

I substituted in an art class yesterday. They voted for the homecoming king and queen. One of the girls who was up for homecoming queen wore a formal from last year. It was totally inappropriate for school. She didn't like wearing the three inch heels and walked around the classroom barefoot. If I knew her name and was the teacher, I would have told her to put her shoes back on. However, I was not in charge of the class. Other than wearing something somewhat seductive to school and walking around barefoot, she wasn't doing anything wrong.

High School Drama

I substituted at Woodson high school today. It was humorous to me to hear some of their drama. One guy was talking about how abrupt he was in ending his relationship with his girlfriend. He told her that he didn't want to be friends. I wanted to tell him that was great and why, but then he would have known that I was eavesdropping on the conversation. The great thing about not being friends is that you know there is no chance of a relationship. I hate that 25 year old wanted to be friends. It is an awful position. I feel like I'm wasting his time when I'm with him because I can tell it isn't going to go anywhere. Maybe some people marry their friends, but I think that most don't.

Yard Sales

I went golfing with the 25 year old this morning. Afterwards we went to yard sales. I hate shopping at yard sales. There is nothing at a yard sale that I need. I have realized that if you can live without a lot of things this last year. While I don't feel like it is necessary or important to have new items, what I've found is that many Americans have a tendency to acquire more things than they actually need. But, I was pleasant and went along with him to the yard sales. Somehow the next time we go out, wned to have food. I like food and have hit enough golf balls to get at least a smoothie out of these pointless dates.

He bailed on me!

So, the 25 year old told me we could play golf and then something came up and he had to work later. But, then he had to go to his sister's after work. Okay, I get it. He didn't want to hang out with me, but why not just say he was busy? Why feed me one excuse after another? I'll never understand men. But, luckily I'm not dating this guy. Someday I'll find someone who cares about my opinion and my time, but it probably won't be anytime soon.

I need to become a shutterbug

My blog lacks pictures and pizazz. I have a really lame excuse. I don't own a camera. While my phone has a camera on it, I don't have the attachment that enables me to download the photos. I know that you can pay extra and have the pictures sent via email, but I'm on my father's family plan and he doesn't want to pay extra for email capabilities. So, if you are reading this blog and wishing I would put up more pictures, keep wishing. I need to start taking some. My nephew just loves taking pictures. He took one of the trash can. He told the toys, "Smile, toys," and took one of his toys and then turned to his mother and told her he needed to take one of her. I wish I had his enthusiasm for snapping photos. But alas, no.

A midsingles ward?!

They announced that there would be a special sacrament meeting on Sunday and they were inviting the midsingles from McLean stake and Oakton stake to attend. Vienna ward and Franklin ward would be in attendance as well. This caused a lot of gossip. Luckily, I didn't have to wait for Sunday to find out that they are creating a new ward and assigning the midsingles to one ward. The stake president wanted all the midsingles personally invited and my mother took the message for me last night. I'm indifferent. I don't really care if I see Eric Parker and Todd Myers every week. They have never asked me out and don't really inspire me to want to be a better church-goer. I think that they may have noticed that an increase in inactivity by the midsingles and thought there was strength in numbers. I don't know.

Online Avoidance

I have discovered that dating online is pretty simple. If you don't like the guy, you don't have to reply to his email. Yesterday someone contacted me, whose attitude is pretty cool, but you can't tell what he looks like in his picture. I don't want to be racist and not date him because he is black. However, I'm not feeling like it is safe to get in a car with someone you met online on a first date and that is where my biggest obstacle lies. I no longer live near public transportation or a mecca of meeting places. I'm out in the suburbs with my family again. I haven't told my parents that I do online dating. I don't know that they would approve, so I have avoided the subject altogether.

Tarred

Yesterday, my brother, my father and I resurfaced the driveway. There were only two spreaders, so I didn't push the tar over the driveway. My task was to mix it up. I took a drill with an attachment and stirred it up. The mixture was thick at the bottom and watery at the top. Luckily, my younger brother asked if I was wearing nice jeans. I quickly changed out of them. While I didn't spill on myself after the first bucket, the second bucket wasn't so kind and I splattered tar all over my ankles and on my birkenstocks. Thinking a good solution to not getting any more tar on my shoes was not wearing any, I ended the day with tar on my heels. Tar does not wash off easily. I was hoping to wear sandals to church today, but that will only work if I can get more off.

Really?

He doesn't want to kiss a woman he isn't serious about. I'm so not liking this guy anymore. I'll continue to see him until he realizes that we are just wasting our time. That or I find some new friends to hang out with. That is difficult because right now I'm living in suburbia. And it is difficult to get around suburbia without a car. Luckily, my younger brother is home for awhile and I can bum rides off of him, but that won't last long. He is going to move out as soon as he gets a job.

My Brother Came Home

John came home from Oxford and yesterday we went to see the nephews. Tony, the youngest was more attached to his aunt and Ethan played with John. I adore Tony, but Cindy taught him sign language and he has had difficultly learning to speak. It was cute that he was showing off the signs that he knew. Unfortunately I can only understand a few of them. It is frustrating because at two years old, he can only say a handful of words. He can't say Daddy yet. He has vowels down. My name sounds like "ie" instead of what his brother calls me, "Minnie." Now that Ethan can pronounce more things, I told him my name was "Melinda." He looked offended and said, "No. You not Linda, you Minnie!" Too cute.

Almost, but not quite

My friend, Stephanie, told me I needed to kiss the 25 year old. I was feeling good about that idea when we went golfing last night until he told me when we reached the driving range that I was his buddy. That took me back to platonic feelings for the guy. The verdict isn't out on him quite yet. Sometimes I'm really attracted to him and sometimes I just want to be friends. We'll see. I received a wink on match.com yesterday. I emailed the guy, but he didn't respond, so I'm thinking that he isn't really that interested.

So sad

The 25 year old is working late tonight, so we probably won't be golfing. He disappointed me last night by not going to the CES fireside. I will only go to those if I have a friend going. Otherwise, I feel old and out of place.
I got a wink today from someone on match.com. But, I was annoyed. I tried to instant message him and he didn' respond. OH well. It probably wasn't meant to be.

A lost crush and a total dis

Last night I went to the Singular Humanitarian BBQ/slideshow. A group of singles went to Guatemala on a humanitarian effort and were showing pictures and talking about it. I discovered my fallback crush is dating a friend of mine. I'm happy for them. I hope it works out. I also saw two men that I didn't want to see. As I was about to leave, one of them came up to ask me what was new. I tapped his shoulder, said "not much" and walked away. My best friend Leah loved watching this as she hates the guy with a passion. He has ignored my instant messages on facebook and not invited me to his parties. I unfortunately found out about them through pictures and posts on facebook. Oh well. I hope he felt a little sting of rejection, but I doubt it.

Golf Again

Last night, I didn't have plans, so I was settling in watching Grey's Anatomy on my computer when the 25 year old called. He hadn't planned on getting out of work early, but since he did, he called me. And we hit balls. He asked me all kinds of questions to get a better handle on what I liked to do. In reality, I can easily entertain myself alone. But when it comes to making plans with other people, I have a hard time coming up with fun things to do. I think he was sorely disappointed that I'm not terribly outdoorsy. Oh well. He can move on and find someone else. I don't know why he still asks me out.

I don't speak French

I substituted today for a French class. I don't know a thing about French. I liked the kids for the most part. I told them straight up though, that I didn't speak French and they could ask each other for help. It is the first week. I handed out the books and then had a lot of time to come up with ideas to write about on my other blog. I wish that I could say there were exciting things happening in my personal life. The only thing I'm really looking forward to is the latin dancing this weekend. A group of people took a humanitarian effort to Guatemala and they are showing their pictures and having a BBQ. Looking forward to it.

Substituting again...

So, I'm in between jobs and substituting until I decide on something more permanent. Again. It is an easy job that I transition in and out of when I stay with my parents. It used to make me long for teaching, but not today. Today and yesterday, I was grateful for leaving the teaching profession. There was something liberating about not having a contract or responsibility over these teenagers.
I was super disappointed that the 25 year old didn't want to golf yesterday. He was working until 10 pm. I guess there is some tax accountant deadline coming up. Well, that is what working for one of the top five accounting firms does to a person. Late hours.

Off to work!

I was fired almost two months ago. It has been a nice vacation. I'm going back to work today. I have a substitute teaching assignment at my mother's school. It will be good to be out and about again. Although, I'm not sure the day will go smoothly. In fact, I know it won't. It is the first day of school and I'm a substitute for a substitute. The kids won't have books. I hope I have a class roster. The teacher is out on maternity leave and her long term sub is taking the first two days off.

Labor Day with the Nephews

Today, the folks and I went up to visit the nephews. My father brought his coveted train set for them. Little Ethan, quickly welcomed me into his house and showed me his latest and greatest treasure, a trumpet. He doesn't play it, but rather cherishes it, lovingly snaping open the case and pulling the velvet over the body of the trumpet. As I carelessly snatch it from the case and start blowing on it, I see my nephew's demeanor change from delight to anguish. Careful not to upset the balance in the household, I quickly change the topic. "Ethan, Grandpa brought trains!" Tony wastes no time in following my father out to the car and before long both boys are entranced by the whistle and smoke emanating from the train set. It was blissful.

Not much

What did I do yesterday? Sadly, not much. I watched a funny movie on television, washed my laundry and went to the grocery store. It is so frustrating to not have a lot of friends nearby. I hate that I can't drive right now. It is getting old. I wish more people understood, but no one who I know has epilepsy and is under driving suspension. I just wish my parents didn't know about the last episode. If they didn't, I would probably be driving now. Maybe.

Golfing and a Movie

I chose to hang out with the 25 year old last night even though it is going nowhere and I'm not even getting any action. He's good company. We went to the driving range again and back to his place for a really lame movie. However, the ones that he was considering taking me to were late and I'd already seen them. I'm not a huge fan of watching something twice.

Too bad, so sad

Well, Manly Graphite (his screen name) hasn't emailed me again. He sent me some link about Obama's speech to the children on the first day of school and encouraged me to have my family keep the kids out of school on September 15th. My nephews aren't even old enough to go to school. I was a teacher and would be annoyed if my students didn't show up on the first day when they assign books. Obama is going to encourage them to set goals. Only two of the questions on the worksheets online seem a little politically motivated. He is trying to use the children to gain approval. However, he may no see it that way. So, Manly and I probably won't hook up. A Catholic dude from match.com emailed me again. He doesn't drink or smoke, so that is good. I'm kind of sick of dating. I'll send him an email today, but I don't know what to do with his interest.

Dilemma

I am annoyed that the 25 year old calls me and wants to spontaneously do things all the time. I have a life and I do make plans. I don't feel like I should drop what I'm doing just to go on a walk or to the driving range or a movie with this guy. If he was seriously interested in me (and he has made the comment that he isn't), he would schedule something in advance. So, why do I put up with the last minute games. It seems like such a waste of my time. I guess my alternative is reading or watching television, so I go along with him. But, still. I need someone who respects my time more.

Another Facebook Interest

I added someone on facebook called Manly Graphite. I have no idea who this is. It doesn't even sound like a real name. Maybe I'll google him. They'll probably just pull up the facebook profile. I sent him an email thanking him for adding me as a friend, but that I had no idea who he was. He told me that he was talking to our mutual friend and my picture or a comment caught his interest and that he decided to "take a chance." I doubt this will go anywhere. I'm not big on long distance dating. I have no idea what state he is in. He used the term aloha, but I noticed that he went to BYU Hawaii for his undergrad. His graduate degree was from a school in Texas. Interesting...maybe there is potential. Maybe not.

Last minute

The 25 year old called me up and wanted to do something last night. He doesn't stand a chance with me if he is calling at the last minute. While I might make time for him to go to the driving range, I can't get excited about a lasting relationship with someone who has put the friends label on it. I think he is under the impression that there is a possibility in the future, but not after you tell the girl you want to be friends. Emotionally she will just move on. He didn't try to kiss me, which is fine because he told me that he only wants to be friends. He is a good distraction. But, he gets too excited about seeing deer in Northern Virginia. He tried to hit them with the golf balls. Of course he missed. For some reason, he was shocked that they didn't get scared.

Writing, writing and more writing

I try to keep this blog mostly about my experiences in the internet dating world. However, from time to time, I do have dry spells. Yeah, three guys emailed me over the weekend, but I couldn't get excited about any of them. So, I blog. And then I twitter. And then I write articles. Being unemployed stinks. But, the beauty of the internet is that there is instant access to moneymaking opportunities. Some are lame and multilevel marketing schemes. Some are just set up to teach you how to make money online. In the end, most people have learned a lot about making money, but they fail in the follow through. They don't end up making money because they never apply the techniques. It does take action, folks. You are going to have to do something. No matter how automated they say their process is, they wouldn't need you to market it if there weren't some required action. My latest and greatest venture is article writing. I've submitted articles to ezinearticles.com and hubpages. I really like hubpages because you can pump out an article and get it published immediately. I have been plagiarized. It was my second article and the loser copied it word for word! Really?! You couldn't have even changed the personal experience?

Such a nice email

Rachel was so kind. She told me she would definately call my brother and have him take her flying because she wants to be a pilot and hopes he doesn't mind if she tags along with his salsa dancing and volleyball expeditions. It could be a match made in heaven. But, I think she may be too intense and smart for him. I really can't handle my friends dating my brothers, so I am indifferent. If they hit it off, great, if not that's fine too.

Why do we feel the need to play matchmaker?

I don't think that my older brother needs to date my friend Rachel. I'm not sure he's into someone so much more athletic than himself. And yet, after she moved to San Francisco, I gave her my brother's number and told her he'd probably be willing to take her flying if she ever wanted to try taking airplane controls. Rob has a pilot's license and goes up whenever he has the time and wants to spend the money on gas. I'm sure he'd be nice to Rachel as she is friends with myself and my younger brother. I actually know that my older brother hates set ups, so when I notified him that I'd given out his number to a friend, I mentioned that I didn't think they'd make a great match but she is a fun person to hang out with.

More emails from match

One guy got to the point right away. His initial email to me was simply, "Is height a deal breaker?" I emailed him back that it wasn't and received another response from him. He is all the way out in Chantilly and it is just up in the air with that.
Another guy asked me for a drink. I'm Mormon. I don't drink coffee or alcohol. When I simply replied that I didn't drink. He asked if I wanted to have coffee with him. Our emails were political. While he is kind of cute, I'm still stuck with the dilemma of how to meet someone when I don't drive there and don't want my parents to know I'm dating strange men I meet online. It probably won't happen. But I have other things to do. Like find a job.

Saw the Nephews Yesterday

My nephews came down yesterday to go swimming. We had a great time. Tony, the one who doesn't talk yet is much more aware than I give him credit. He noticed me eating a cookie and asked for one using the sign lanugage my sister taught him. I saw him sign and asked my sister. She gave me a patronizing look. "What are you eating? It's the sign for cookie. He wants what you have." Of course.

A cattle rancher, a politcal junkie

I got two emails from men on match.com. One is an LDS cattle rancher in Florida who is widowed with 2 kids. In some ways, I don't mind the fact that a man already has a couple kids. It takes the pressure off of me to have them. I mean, if I can't reproduce, he won't necessarily be disappointed because he already has two to raise. I won't have to go through pregnancy or if I do, it would only be once maybe twice. I'm open to the idea of dating men who have kids now. I haven't always been though.

The other guy who is local contacted me. He campaigned for Obama. I'm not sure how well I'd do with an Obama supporter. I'm not as enamored by Obama as most people. He has some pretty half baked ideas like the cash for clunkers program. Yes, it got gas guzzlers off the road. But, it created pollution in the process because you have the pollution from creating the new car and destroying the old one. Does that justify the money spent? How much pollution did we prevent after the fact? I realize this guy really has nothing to do with Obama's current decisions. But maybe I'm looking for a reason not to like the guy. He has a spare tire in his photo, but claims to work hard at the gym. Hmm...got to keep a healthy dose of skepticism.

Out of town dating

The trip out to California will be so much fun. I've contacted a couple guys that I wanted to ask me out, but didn't ask out myself thinking they wouldn't be interested. The great thing is that they don't see it as serious since I'll only be in town awhile. However, I remember hooking up with a guy who was on a business trip. It broke my heart a little. Oh well. The tables turn. I need someone to entertain me in California. Might as well be someone with make out potential.

So not happening

I had a conversation with the 25 year old. We're friends. He still somehow sees potential in the relationship in the future, but I've given up any hope. I'm glad we've mostly made amends. I think the age difference came into play big time lately. He doesn't know what it is like to be single for years and make decisions on your own. He thinks this decision he has to make based on which project he will work on is going to make some huge difference in his life and is disappointed that I don't see it that way. A year goes by quickly. When you're young it passes so slowly, but for me, six months flies by. I made plans to visit California in October with my dad and brother. I contacted a Native American that I knew would enjoy my presence and scheduled a date. Life moves on.

I am terrible

So, yesterday I told 25 year old that we couldn't be friends. I removed him from my friend's list on facebook. An hour later, I decided to undo that move and noticed that he had blocked me. Suddenly I wanted him to be my friend more than anything and I wanted to undo the stupid email I sent him. This morning I texted him and said I was sorry. Not hearing back from him, I called and told him I had changed my mind. So, yes. I am just as guilty of jerking men around as they are of jerking women around. I don't see this going anywhere as a relationship, so I am pursuing other options.

Awful Date

I went on a walk with the 25 year old. He was excited because he caught two frogs. I was grossed out. One of them peed. He knew that was their defense mechanism, so he held it away from him. The pee didn't hit me, but it was too close for comfort. I had to chuckle a little when I saw that he was afraid of the dogs that were behind an electric fence. Of course, he didn't know there was an electric fence there and had some dog trauma in his past. He told me about this major decision he was making and was really upset that I didn't have input. He really wanted me to be interested and care about his career. I've had so many failed careers that I support any person's choice in employment. I think all are great.

Feelin' Better

I woke up this morning and I wasn't congested. Thank goodness! Yesterday, my nephews came over after my sister bought a used minivan. Ethan wanted to show everyone his "new, big car!" Such excitement. But when the time came for him to go home, he didn't want the fun to stop. "No, I stay here! I not go home." Tony is a little more subtle. He still can't talk. But he runs into my lap. At first, I thought he loves me and then I realized the avoidance tactic. He has me wrapped around his little finger. I feed him when he's on my lap. I lift him up to show him Grandpa's trains. I carry him when he is tired. Of course he is going to run to my lap when mom says it's time to go home.

Dang it! I'm sick!

I haven't been sick in a very, very long time. Last week, I got a slight sore throat. Today, I woke up and my chest was tight, I was congested and wheezing a little from airway constriction. It is the middle of summer. What is this?! I've been promising my nephew that I'd take him to the pool and now I'm too sick to go. I had to cancel the night walk that the 25 year old wanted to take with me. He could tell that I was congested on the phone and knew I wasn't faking. Oh well.

Where to from here?

I haven't received many responses from match.com lately. I got a couple emails yesterday that said someone indicated an interest in me, but I have been ignoring those. Whenever I get matched with someone, I always indicate that I'm interested. I've got over 100 people who I'm "interested in." I'm not really though. It is just a nice gesture that I do. I won't indicate that I'm interested in someone who is currently separated though. I wait for divorce. Separation isn't always permanent.
Still not sure whether or not I'll see the 25 year old again. I feel like he jerked me around a little telling me he wanted to be friends and then later instant messaging me and saying he was sad that I didn't want to hang out with him anymore. I guess his interpretation of "just friends" was not the entirely platonic meaning that I had. He just wasn't ready for a serious relationship. Hmm...after 2 dates, I didn't think it was serious.

Possibilities abound online

A history teacher contacted me on match.com. He didn't have a picture posted and I was a little entertained by our instant messaging. Today he posted a picture. He doesn't look like the hot history teacher who taught me 15 years ago. Not even close. I may see him. He doesn't live terribly far away and he is the same religion, so that is a plus. It says that he is heavyset, but in the picture that he posted, he looks trim, so that is kind of an indicator that either the picture is out of date or he wasn't paying attention when he chose to advertise himself as heavyset. Both are not good indicators.

Men Play Games

I was told, "I just want to be friends." I was sure that meant he didn't want a relationship with me. Until this morning's instant message. Actually, I'm pretty sure he doesn't want a relationship with me, he just hasn't realized it yet. He told me he was sad. He was hoping to see me again. Um...really, because you used the one line relationship ender on me.

Online dating again

A couple people contacted me from match.com. One is 38. He lives in Arlington. I told him I lost my job and moved to my parents house and he was still interest. He posted a lot of pictures of himself with his arm around a couple different women. I'm assuming they are family members, but you never know. You kind of have to wonder about guys who do that. Then there was someone from Chicago who emailed me. An asian guy. Really? Does he think that commute is going to be worth it? He sent me some pictures of himself traveling. While he has been to a ton of cool places, he doesn't look good in the pictures. I probably won't respond to that one.

Really? Another Text

I don't get this guy. He tells me he just wants to keep it as friends and then two days later he texts me to ask how it's going. Yeah, I text my friends sometimes. But, I told the guy I am not much of a texting person. He isn't interested in me, so why doesn't he move on? I think that is the reason people stay single. They hang out with people they aren't interested in too frequently and don't move on.

No boy drama today

Unfortunately, I don't have any drama to write about. Not one guy online contacted me today. However, I've kind of been taking a break from match.com. Maybe I'll get back into it.
Today, I get to go and harrass my former employer. She hasn't given me the form to fill out for my COBRA. She gave me an eligibility notice. Then when I requested the information, I was Fed Exed another eligibility notice. I need the actual form to sign up. Being fired stinks, but dealing with health insurance afterwards does even more. Luckily, I found an online opportunity to keep me busy in between jobs. I never thought I'd be grateful for a multi-level marketing opportunity in my life. However, this one isn't so bad. It didn't cost me anything and I'm actually making money from it! Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Check it out for yourself - http://mindycurle.freeandpowerful.com. It is too boring to stay home and work on the computer all day, so I'm still applying for regular 9-5 jobs where I'll interact with people.

Almost Over Him

I don't know why I was so upset that Rich told me he wanted to be just friends. I wasn't overwhelmingly attracted to him and I was a little disappointed that he was eight years younger than me. I'm not at the same place he talks about being in his life (married soon), so it isn't like we were a perfect match. I think that the reality just set in. I will say this for the guy, at least he didn't leave me hanging and drag it on for months on end. I've seen men do that to women. Thank goodness for hot men to have crushes on. I told my friend, Craig, about the experience and he was so understanding. He said, we've all been there. Time will heal. Nothing too profound, but it is nice to know someone cares.

Keepin' it Just Friends

You can tell when a guy is interested in you because he actually plans on seeing you. He doesn't schedule things at the last minute. While, they say they are interested when they plan things at the last minute, really they aren't. Today the 25 year old told me he just wanted to keep it as friends. I'm okay with that. It is always good to have more friends.

Once a cougar, always a cougar

It is ironic that my high school mascot and my one of the colleges I went to had cougars for a mascot. Now, I've gone out with someone eight years younger than me, friends are calling me a cougar. Great animals, I must say! I really can't say that I'll always date younger men. Who knows, tomorrow I could meet someone older who is "the one!" But for now, I like telling people I'm seeing someone who is younger than me.

Talk on the phone?

So the 25 year old called me. I am not a phone person. I love hearing my nephews for a minute or two, but I don't call people just to talk. It amazes me how much some people have to say on the phone. I don't understand sometimes. He called and talked while I heated the oven. And talked some more while my frozen pizza heated. I think half an hour later, I admitted that I really wasn't the type to talk on the phone. It surprised him because I kept the conversation going well enough. I just never feel like calling people just to talk. It is kind of like hiking for me. I might enjoy it with the right people, but I would never plan on doing it.

My Nephew Called Me

This morning it was raining. I called my sister to see if Ethan went outside and used the new umbrella he received for his birthday. Unfortunately, he was too busy fighting with his younger brother to talk. A couple hours later, he told my sister to call me. He told me about using his umbrella in the rain. So sweet! I'm definately the favorite aunt. Once I had understood all of what he was trying to say, I asked if Tony (his 2 year old brother) wanted to talk to Auntie Minnie. Tony can't say anything. My sister taught him sign language and he uses that instead of words, which frustrates everyone else. But Tony likes me more than Ethan, so I tell him hello and what I'm doing. I wait for him to grunt and continue on with our pretend conversation.

He texted me

I pretty much dislike texting. It means that I have to press buttons on my phone multiple times to get one letter. It takes twice the time that emailing does. So, I was a little surprised that the younger man texted me. Pleased, but surprised. I guess the younger generation is more into that thing. I did the nice thing and replied, but when he replied at lunch time, I broke the news to him that I was just not a texter. I'm sure he won't be too offended. After all, I love tomatoes and he hates them and that doesn't seem to be an issue. Maybe when he finds out about my obsession with growing colorful varieties and massive amounts it will become one.

Watch the Comments!

I told the guy that took me out recently that he could check the website if he wanted to read what I wrote about the date. It was pretty neutral. Then, I saw my friend Stephanie's comment about not doing a great job making out with men. People might read your comments. Make sure they don't embarrass me, people! Just a word of warning.
Anyway, I went to Home Depot today. Not as exciting when I don't have plans for a grandiose garden with tomato support structures.

Selfishly Motivated

After speaking with my mother, I figured out why Ethan asked if I was going to the store. The previous day, Cindy had taken him to Toys R Us. My brilliant nephew isn't realizing people have other things to do. He is hoping you'll take him shopping too.

Conversation with Ethan

I talked to the three year old on the phone yesterday. They had just celebrated his birthday. He said, "Minnie, you come to my house?" But alas, I couldn't. Then he started asking me if I was going to the store. It is great that he is putting together that people have other things to do than hang out with him. He asked me if I was going shopping. I told him that I wasn't. And then he hung up on me! I guess he just wasn't interested in hearing more. Usually my sister gets the phone when he is done and translates his babble for me. He is getting easier to understand though, so it isn't as necessary.
I'm pretty disappointed in him right now. He won't let me pick him up anymore. When I try, he yells, "Put me down! I'm a big boy!" Good thing his brother still likes me to hold him.

Oh no! John found my blog!

I love my family. Really, I do. However I did not tell them about this blog. It was being written solely to entertain my friend, Stephanie. I was a little surprised that our mutual friend, Erin, posted a link to it. I just got an email from my brother telling me he found my blog and thinks that I should consider freelance writing. I hope he found the melindacurle.com blog entitled Out of Obscurity where I write about my endeavors trying to figure out technology. John doesn't need to know I tried online dating and what I think of the latest guy who is interested in me. But, let's face it, I made this blog public and available to everyone. I really have no reason to complain.

I jeopardize my chances with men

Today when I noticed the 25 year old was online, I instant messaged him. I told him I wanted to hang out again. His response was simply, "let's do it." Well, that is great and all, but now I don't know if he would have taken the initiative or not. Why do I feel the need to manipulate relationships? I have no idea. I'm not alone though. They have entire movies and books about the topic. Ever watch "He's just not that into you"? Funny, but sadly it portrays what so many women do to ruin relationships. Oh well. He's younger and shorter than me. If it doesn't work out, then it wasn't meant to be.

Nephews are great

Especially when they are almost three and don't have other women in their lives just yet. They ask you to come visit them and tell you they want to come see you. Suddenly, you feel loved and isn't that a great feeling? Today Ethan stopped watching a movie and instead of just telling me he was watching a movie and running away, he said, "Minnie, I want to come to your house and play." After telling him that he needed to ask his mommy, he immediately asked my sister. When that didn't work, he asked me if I wanted to come to his house. This boy knows what he wants. He wants people to socialize with. Too bad my sister lives up in the boonies and there aren't more kids for him to play with.

My Nephew Loves Me!

I used to call my sister every morning as I walked to work. I would usually ask if Ethan wanted to talk to me. He would say something undescipherable and hand the phone over to his mother. Today, I talked to him and he invited me to come over to his house. That was nice, but I had to explain that he should come see grandma and let her take him to the swimming pool because I couldn't drive up to his house. My conversation with Ethan ended and while I was talking to Cindy, I overheard Ethan say to his younger brother, "Tony, want to talk to Minnie?" They were using a pretend phone. I was delighted when Cindy explained that the boys were pretending to talk to me on the phone.

We had fun

I'm not sure if he is going to ask me out again. I might have offended him when I guessed that he was number 5 out of 7 children. I told him my reasoning was that I hoped he wasn't the youngest. Of course, he is. Oh well. We went to the driving range and hit two buckets of balls. He wanted to be all competitive and I just wanted to hit them. We went out for dinner and back to his place to watch a movie. He chose Confessions of a Shopaholic. While it was cheesy, it was nice and relaxing. I hope I see him again. But at the end of the date, we just hugged and I didn't ask him if he planned on seeing me again.

He called

I'm not so sure about the 25 year old. He called Friday night and told me he wanted to hang out on Saturday. I gave him a little bit of a hard time. I'll hang out with him tomorrow. But the plans are tentative. I think we are going to end up at the driving range at Oak Marr because I suggested it. He wanted to go ride a bike, but luckily I don't own a bike and wasn't going to go along with that. I probably would have had fun, but it is harder to talk on a bike than it is standing and swinging a golf club. Not that I'm too terribly into golf, but if you stand on the upper deck, you feel like you are on top of the world.

Facebook is terrible

The bad thing about facebook is that it is easy to stalk people. For example, I could see when the guy who asked me out was online. And really, it made me wonder why he didn't respond right away to my email. Tragic news, losing a job, you would have thought if he cared he'd say something. So, I wonder why on earth people stalk other people online. It is just frustrating. Because in reality they could be super busy and all you can think about is why that other person isn't as obssessed with responding to your email as you are about what they are doing instead. And it is awful when people post that they are planning parties and they don't invite you. Which is okay because the guy who took me on an awful date is doing that. I just think there is too much information out there sometimes.

Patience, patience

The 25 year old finally replied to my email. He said he was so sorry and pointed out that the good thing is that I'm closer to him. That was nice to see him write that. Convenience makes it easy for someone to take advantage of you though. Think about it. You appreciate someone more when you miss them a little or there is a sacrifice made to go see them. When it is convenient, you tend to take them for granted a little. I doubt that he is going to call me again after waiting three days to respond to my email, but I'll keep you posted.

He hasn't called

I emailed the last guy I went out with the news that I had gotten fired a few days ago. No, sorry to hear that, good luck finding something else. Nothing. I guess he wasn't really that interested. While he said, let's do this again at the end of the date, it has been a couple days and he hasn't planned anything with me again. I'm going to give up hope on the younger man for awhile. I mean, it isn't like he really experienced the Cold War or the Reagan administration. He was born during it.

Fired again

I got fired from Service Source. It was completely unnecessary and the mistakes that were made were no entirely my fault. Luckily I only have two weeks left on my lease and I did not sign another lease. Therefore, I am free to move back home and save money on rent while I look for another job. When I find a job, I can find an apartment near it, so that is good.
While I was a disgruntled fired employee, I wrote the president of Service Source to let her know that her company, whose mission it is to help people with disabilities failed to meet my needs and failed to provide me with accomodations. It was a relief to write the letter. She told me she forwarded it to the HR department manager. Yeah, like I really want to go back to work for them after being fired. I hope my boss gets reprimanded somehow for her negligence. She was not good at management.

The date went great

Eight years younger, a few inches shorter, but conversation flowed smoothly. If it doesn't bother him, why should I let it bother me?! We had a fun time. It sounded like he wants to see me again. We ate Thai food. It was so much better than last week's date. But I gave him an advantage. I emailed him and told him I liked eating out. The activity can make a difference. Sitting in silence during a lame movie versus conversation and food. Hmm...tough choice.

He called!

So after a couple days without hearing from him online or on the phone, I get a call from the facebook guy that I accidentally sent an email to instead of the intended recipient. He is funny on the phone. He didn't freak out like the last guy when I told him I don't drive because of seizures. It should be a fun date. We're going to dinner on Thursday. He told me he didn't like the crowded city areas when I told him I live in a high rise, and I don't really either. It should be a fun evening. I feel kind of bad having him come all the way to Alexandria during rush hour, but he didn't want to wait a week.

So excited and then nothing...

I accidentally sent an email to the wrong Rich in my facebook account. It was instantly clear that the Rich who responded was not the intended recipient. However, we exchanged emails and he suggested we continue our conversation on a date. Thrilled, I gave him my phone number and told him that would be great. Did he call? Um...no. Did he email again? Um...no. Well, nothing ventured nothing gained! He is considerably shorter than me.

The date

We went to a movie. The poor guy chose science fiction, which I hate. He wanted to take me out for ice cream afterwards, but I didn't know any ice cream places around Alexandria. I'm sure there are tons, but I don't go out for ice cream and try to avoid sweets. The place he took me to was a restaurant/theater. Kind of nice, but he told me to eat beforehand because we were going to a movie. Poor guy had no idea I don't mix movies and food. No, he didn't even try handholding because the seats were farther apart due to a table in case we wanted food. It didn't matter because I was so bored I was trying to fall asleep during Wolverine.
Unfortunately, my phone slipped out of my pocket. I realized it in the car on the way home. He didn't offer to take me back to the theater. He said he was sorry and suggested I call the theater. Oh, no. I don't have a phone! You call the theater. He emailed me and let me know they found a phone in the theater, but I would have to pick it up. That is 2 hours out of my day. Two bus transfers down there, 1 hour to go 6 miles and then wait for the bus back. Uh...I don't think he'll get a second date. I told my father to swing by the theater after work and see if they have my phone. I'm sure he'll do it.

A shorter man

So, a short guy I met at the Crystal City midsingles family home evening asked me out. He gave me a ride to the midsingles activity. I'm not quite sure whether he enjoys me or is trying to make me his project and change the way that I live. He made some comments like, "You'll like fishing and camping if you hang out with me." For the record, I hate camping. Fishing is fine once in a while, but I'll never love it. But, maybe he was just making conversation and not trying to give me a hard time. We shall see. He didn't find me during the sacrament meeting, so maybe he lost interest or didn't see me. I'm not worried about it.

Only 72 degrees?!

It's July! Why is it only in the seventies?! I want my warm hot summer already. I planned on going swimming outside today. I'll have to wear some sweats. What is going on here?

Yeah! Rob is coming to town!

My older brother, Rob, is coming home for the 4th of July. I can't wait to see him. Cindy and the nephews are going to spend the night at my parents house so they can maximize their 'Uncle Rob' time. So, it will almost be a family reunion. John is still across the pond at school though. I'm sure the nephews will be excited to see Grandma and Grandpa as my parents are doing their best to spoil them. Cindy told me that after she pulled out her backyard wading pool, the first words out of Ethan's mouth were, "Grandma? Big pool?" He is getting much more verbal about what he wants. Not to mention demanding at times. It will be interesting to see them interact with the uncle they hardly know.

Wow! 97 page impressions

My blog has been viewed 97 times! I'm amazed. I bet most of those times are by me when I actually update it, but I don't know. I'm sure Stephanie and Erin follow the blog. They posted a link, but where is all this other traffic from? I'm not even sure who would be interested in my life. In fact, I'm amazed that Erinannie found my blog. I never told her about it.
After reading up on how important it is to have someone host your blog rather than use a free service, I made the decision to abandon internetmarketingexperiences.blogspot.com. The new blog site is melindacurle.com. I chose to brand myself because I realized I may want to shift focus from how to drive traffic to an internet site to maybe teaching swimming. Anyway, my objective is to get 1,000 page views in 30 days. I am writing about how to generate internet traffic to a website. Something I know actually very little about. However, it might resonate with blogger wannabes and become interesting. At the very least, it will provide me with a hobby.

EEG went well

The technician was nice. She didn't glue the electrodes in this time, just applied them with a cream. She was disappointed that I didn't sleep, but said we got a good study. It was only twenty minutes. They flickered lights in front of my eyes and made me hyperventilate. Even if she had sedated me, I doubt I would have gotten to sleep. It isn't like I can get comfortable with wires attached to my head and being told not to move. I haven't heard the results. I'm sure if there were any gross abnormalities, they would have called me with the results by now.

Hubpages

As a part of my online moneymaking experiment, I wrote a few articles for Hubpages. While they take their cut of the profit from clicks to advertisements, I wanted more practice writing online. Practice makes perfect. The more I write, the easier it should become. I may find myself absolutely sick of writing in a few days or I may want to make it into a career. Stay tuned for what happens. The following link is my experience with alternative medical cures.
Coconut Oil Cures

Need a Cue

I need an "I can just see this going nowhere" cue when it comes to men. The aforementioned crush talked to me at the potluck last night. He admitted turning off his phone and then realizing I might need a ride and hoping I found one! The sad thing is that I was smitten by his humor and good looks all over again. (I hope he doesn't read this blog. I was actually surprised to find that I have 2 followers.)

I love my friends!

My friend, Stephanie, told me today that she enjoys what I write. It is so wonderful to have someone in your life tell you they crack you up. That little instant message made my day. I reread my last post and thought, man this is so dry. I've been told I have a dry sense of humor. Some people get it, some people don't. The people who read this blog must get it, I guess. Otherwise, they would be wasting their time reading someone else's blog or watching something amusing on television.

Try Something New

It is so easy to get stuck in a rut doing the same thing over and over. Experimenting with new ideas and new concepts generates excitement and provides you with new opportunities. Last year, I saw myself going nowhere teaching. I had been resigned after a tumultous first year and was fired after my second. I loved teaching. Kids provide many new ideas and comic relief. However, I was a victim of circumstance. They let me teach with little experience and without much guidance, I failed miserably at motivating and keeping order amongst learning disable teens. The school system was desperate for teachers and I was desperate for a job. Perhaps I would have been successful under other circumstances. I moved on and found a job tutoring in California. It is a wonderful state, but I missed my family. Right now I work with mentally retarded adults, but I'm experimenting with blogging. I love that I am writing more. It energizes me and gives me something to look forward to at the end of the day.

Not Deterred

I sat in the cafeteria today with John as he drank his daily cup of hot chocolate. He is the only participant who receives a daily cup of hot chocolate because his brother is on the board of directors. Another employee from the administrative side walked past the two of us and he pointed to me and shouted, "That's my girlfriend." She chuckled and informed him that a supervisor is different from a girlfriend.

Working With Mentally Retarded Adults

My job is not very stressful. My supervisor barked some orders at me yesterday, but I approached her later and explained the situation and she softened. Mostly I laugh at what the mentally retarded adults tell me. For example, a couple weeks ago John asked me where my father was. Confused, I questioned why he wanted to know. "Because I want to marry you." This news caused me to chuckle. After all, just the day before he had told me he hated me. I told him I didn't want to be married and he responded, "That's okay. I have Diana." Well, as long as he has a back up plan, life is good.

extra brainwaves

That is what seizures are. Well, extra electrical activity in your brain. My sister said she was interested in reading a blog about epilepsy. I guess I don't share enough with her. Our medical problems are so different. I don't talk about my seizures because I don't remember them. I'm unconscious. It is like missing pieces in my life. The drugs cause nasty side effects that I try to ignore. Who really wants to hear someone whine about the ringing in their ears or their double vision. Right now I have paranoia more than anything else. Yeah! Fear is all I face with Keppra. I'm sure that will change though. I thought Lamictal was the bomb until I had double vision and vertigo.

Train ride

Father's Day gift this year was a family train ride. view the first 27 seconds
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zX7zCay_OfE

Another blog

I want to keep KISS (Keep It Simple, Stupid) random. I decided that my experiences with trying to make money online will be on another site dedicated to that. It is entitled Can I really Make Money Online? and the blog is internetmarketingexperiences.blogspot.com.
I don't think I really like how many advertisements Google Adsense puts up. I may change the content. For now I'll leave it up. And for the record, I haven't made any money online yet. But it has only been 24 hours.

Online marketing - trying it

I decided that I was tired of reading all these claims that you can make money online just by posting ads. Technology baffles me. I am overwhelmed by it. I will most likely get frustrated and give up, but decided to blog about my adventures trying it. I ordered a free ebook by John Chow dot com about how to make money on the internet. I immediately signed up for Google Adsense. I must have done something wrong because I got an email saying that it doesn't support the language that I use in my blog. So I went to John Chow dot com's website and found another internet marketing site. I chose clickbank and tried to sign up for that. Apparently you can make money by promoting products on your blog. After reading through and forgetting most of the legalese, I picked an online product to sign up for. Somehow I'm suppose to attach the link to my website.

Click Here!

Anyway, after signing up for clickbank, I found where it said monetize on blogger.com. I clicked on it and it added google adsense.

not a response

I know there are women out there that think if they email men on the internet the men will become interested. I'm a little wiser. If they are interested, they will take initiative. Otherwise you are just pushing hard for what you want. I was so excited by a cute profile that I emailed a guy and told him it made me laugh. I don't know why I was disappointed that he didn't respond. He viewed my profile, so on paper I'm not pretty enough or smart enough. Maybe he has better options. I don't know.

BBQ...what heaven smells like

I had my latest crush drive me to the BBQ. I was pretty sure he was never going to ask me out and the only way to remind myself that we weren't meant to be was to spend a few minutes with him. He is hot but boring. I'm over him. I wish the grillmaster last night took more of an interest in me. Although my fantastic burger may be coloring my opinion of him. We shall see.

701 rejections

Online dating is so efficient. 701 men have rejected me so far. Well, 701 have viewed my profile. A handful have been interested and sent me emails. One tried to instant message me this morning, it didn't work. I told him to find someone else, so he tagged me as a favorite. Go figure.

bittersweet

I've lived with epilepsy for 20 years. A girl who was in my ward when I grew up just got diagnosed. While I am sad that she has this new challenge to live with, I kind of like having someone who knows almost exactly what I go through with medication adjustments and seizures.

life is fragile

My friend died of a stroke on Wednesday. He was only 31. He never married or had kids. He had just finished law school and everything seemed to be going well for him. Enjoy each moment. You never know what is going to happen next.

dating dilemma

I have a new crush. I love having a crush. I never imagined that I would have a crush on this guy. After all, he was my brother's roommate and he broke my friend's heart. However, he apologized for being a jerk to me and shared the last soda with me at the potluck. I was trying to avoid soda, but the gesture was too nice. If I didn't know better I would have thought he was flirting with me. Too bad there isn't a crytal ball to let you know which men you should make out with and forget and which ones have potential. I think he is a make out with and forget man but you never know.

Taxes...done!

I always intend to do my taxes early. In fact, I signed them and put them in the mail April 15th this year. I probably could have gotten a better return if I itemized, but gathering all those receipts wasn't happening. I could have efiled and gotten my return sooner if I remembered last years pin or had the amount I made handy. So, I'm doing it the old fashioned way via mail at the last minute. Yipee!

Not Age Appropriate

I work with mentally retarded adults. We are encouraged to find them age appropriate activities. However, many of them stopped their mental progress at a certain age. One of the men I work with is still a kid. He wears Mickey Mouse ears to work because he wants to be like Jimmie Dodd of the Mouseketeers. He also wears a clip-on tie because Walt Disney, his hero, wears a tie. I humored him today and had him teach me the Mickey Mouse song. "M - I - C, see ya real soon, K - E- Y, why? because we like you! M-O-U-S-E!" It might not have been age appropriate activity for a 50 year old, but he still wants to be a mousketeer.

Criticism doesn't work

I've discovered that online communication does not translate quite the same as in person communication. The atheist is no longer interested in me because I offered him some constructive criticism on his profile. Only after he sent me a nasty email did I reread his profile. After demanding that women email him right away and offering all these reasons they needed to did he mention he was just kidding. Oh. Like I did at first, most people probably stopped reading after "Girls! Why don't you email me?" Life is full of lessons and most people learn them the hard way. I know I've made my own mistakes with online communication.

Update on the date

I decided to raise my standards and let men lose interest when they find out I don't smoke, drink and won't sleep with them after a date. However, I've found that this backfires. Not all of them lose interest. Currently an aethist wants to meet me. Although his profile boasts that there is no existance of God, suddenly he wants to learn more. I thought religious differences were a surefire relationship killer.

Peer Pressure

My fabulous friend, Stephanie, has gotten me to sign up for online dating. I don't know why I give in to peer pressure. I am not doing eharmony. It was too expensive and I'm not really serious about these online relationships. I am kind of fake online. No one sees you. You feel at liberty to type crazy things.

Seeds

I get so excited for spring. When it is cold, I dream up a garden and plant it. Right now I have peas and spinach that has germinated. Interestingly enough, when the weather is pleasant year round, I get burned out and am not motivated to grow things. When it is cold, I spend hours looking at seed catalogs and making plant selections. It rains on the East Coast, so I don't have to worry about watering. Otherwise, I wouldn't continue the obsession.

"Does this look familiar to you?"

The look on my mother's face was priceless. My father had taken her car to fill it up with gas. However, he failed to mention to her that he had purchased a car months ago and had been keeping it at work. I don't know when he planned on breaking the news to her. I had been in the car numerous times and heard the story of how he bought the mint condition '89 Mercedes Benz off some guy he met in the parking lot for a song. It is incidents like these remind me that in life it isn't what you own, but how you treat people that is important. My mother is fine with having an extra car. She realizes that getting a deal on a used car is one of my father's many quirks.

Technology is ruining my life

I got a new phone. My old phone was too technologically advanced for me. I finally learned how to text last year. Yesterday my phone died. I had to get a replacement. I didn't spend much time deciding. I had been eligible to upgrade my phone for over two years, but didn't want to bother because the phone still worked. I chose the cheapest one, which happens to have all the bells and whistles. Now, I can take pictures with my phone. Great. Now I have no excuse not to take pictures of things and posting them on the internet for friends to see. The excuse that I can't figure out how to use it is only going to last for a few weeks.

Keep It Simple, Stupid

Although, I hate to insult people, I liked the acronym. Keep it Simple, Stupid. I live my life by that motto. I rent a studio apartment. I walk to work. I don't own much. Each time I get a new job, I get a new place. Too much stuff clutters your life. On a whim, I moved to California to experience the West Coast. I loved it. When my boss changed, my job got old and I missed my family, I moved back. It is a tragedy that more people don't see the value in renting.